


Candle Crack

by ralf



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (blame alec srsly), Candles, Crack, Domestic, Humor, M/M, accidental fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 19:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18288626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralf/pseuds/ralf
Summary: “I was thinking about getting some candles for the balcony,” Magnus breaks the peaceful silence of their waking up together. “A candelabra maybe, or a candlestand? Just something to make it more inviting on cold evenings.”Alec sinks deeper into the warm bedsheets. “Hm-hmm.”“There's this great store where I get most of my decorations, very high end, very classy, and I thought we could go there right after breakfast.”Alec's eyes fly open in alarm.We?(Little does Alec know a simple trip to buy some candles is about to turn into a real disaster, and for more than just the obvious reasons.)





	Candle Crack

**Author's Note:**

> I blame the [Shadowhunters set designs](https://ralfstrashcan.tumblr.com/post/183818178184/i-blame-the-various-similar-looking-candlestands) for this. Set in late 3A.
> 
> Awww look at me posting my 50th Shadowhunters fic, and instead of something Meaningful or Dramatic it's a precious little crack fic. I think that says a lot about me as a person XD  
> Enjoy!

“So I was thinking...” Magnus breaks the peaceful silence of their waking up together.

“Oh dear,” Alec mutters and earns a slap to his shoulder for his efforts.

“As I was saying,” Magnus continues unfazed, “I was thinking about getting some candles for the balcony. A candelabra maybe, or a candlestand? Just something to make it more inviting on cold evenings.”

Alec closes his eyes again with a sigh, sinking deeper into the warm bedsheets. “Hm-hmm.”

“There's this great store where I get most of my decorations, very high end, very classy, and I thought we could go there right after breakfast.”

Alec's eyes fly open in alarm. _We?_ “Uh, you sure you want me to come along? I probably won't be of much help, you know interior design isn't really my area of expertise.”

He can feel Magnus's accusing gaze searing into the side of his head. “Alexander, it's partly your balcony now, don't you want a say in the way it's decorated?”

Just the notion of spending an extended period of time at a store looking at decorations has a shudder running down Alec's spine. “Don't worry about me, I have complete confidence in your sense of style.”

Magnus doesn't miss a beat. “Alexander, it's partly your balcony now so I think it's only fair you shoulder some of the responsibility that comes with owning one.”

It's as if he's prepared himself for Alec's cheap excuses. Alec heaves a deep sigh. Seriously. “Okay, fine, I'll come with.”

Magnus hums in contentment as if he didn't just guilt-trip Alec into doing his bidding. “Wonderful.”

After what feels like only a second Alec finds himself inside a huge store with high ceilings, gentle classical music playing over the speakers and shelves upon shelves of decorative items, most of which Alec can't even identify neither purpose nor appeal of.

“This way,” Magnus guides him through the labyrinth of racks unerringly. He probably knows this place like the back of his hand. Possibly better. Alec wouldn't even be surprised.

Passing by indoor fountains, various animal porcelain figures and an assortment of garden gnomes Alec doesn't examine too closely they finally get to a section focusing on candles in all shapes, colors and sizes one could ever need.

“Wow,” Alec breathes in awe at the variety on display, when one type of candles in white would absolutely suffice.

“Amazing, isn't it?” Magnus agrees and Alec is infinitely glad Magnus can't read his thoughts.

Next to the single candles there are different candlestands, some simple and small, some ornate and shoulder-high, and farther down the aisle Alec even spots fence segments where candles can be attached to the top of the pickets.

They're not alone in the section, Alec notes. There's a guy lingering in front of the fences, contemplating them with a deep frown, and a spark of recognition flares to life in Alec's brain. He's seen this guy before, he's sure of it, but he can't remember where and that alone is enough for his distrust to be piqued.

He half turns to Magnus, keeping his eyes on the stranger, and whispers, “Hey Magnus, do you know that guy over there?”

Magnus looks up from where he was weighing two candleholders in his hands and glances over. “No. Why're you asking?”

Alec scowls. “Something's off about him.”

Magnus rolls his eyes fondly. “You and your bad faith in anyone and everyone. He's just looking for enrichment of his lodgings, like us.”

“Yeah, and why does he need a billion candle fences for that?” Alec counters, watching the man load as many fence segements into his shopping cart as he can carry, securing them and making his way back to the shelf, presumably to get even more. “He's definitely up to something.”

The guy looks over, catches Alec's gaze, and goes back to packing hastily. As if he's got something to hide.

“I'll go check him out,” Alec announces.

“Alec,” Magnus calls after him, but Alec will not be deterred. He strides over to the stranger and plants himself right in his way.

“State your business,” he demands.

The stranger gives him a once over and crosses his arms. “I'm accountable to none, especially not to you.”

Alec raises his chin. “I'm the Head of the New York Institute, so I think you are.”

The man purses his lips in distaste, but after a moment reconsiders. “Fine. I'm Praetor Kyle and I'm here on behalf of the Praetor Lupus. But my task doesn't intersect with Shadowhunter responsibility, so stay out of my way.”

Alec cocks his head. “I'll be the judge of what lies within my responsibility. What are those for?” He indicates Kyle's purchases.

Kyle glares daggers at him. “They're fences. For fencing. Since when does the Institute care about how the Praetor designs its property line?”

“Since never,” Magnus interjects, appearing at Alec's shoulder. “Great choice by the way, timeless and practical. Now, Alec, leave the man to his front yard scaping, I need your opinion on something back there.” He tugs on Alec's elbow and Alec reluctantly follows him back down the aisle, shooting Kyle one last suspicious look over his shoulder, who returns it fervently.

“Alec, you can't just ask people why they buy stuff,” Magnus chides under his breath.

“But he was acting super shifty,” Alec argues.

“Be that as it may, you are not a mall cop.”

Alec huffs. “Was I just supposed to ignore him?”

“Yes!” Magnus waves his hand emphatically. “Yes! Exactly!”

Alec huffs again, harder, and is just about to say something more when loud heels clicking on the store floor draw his attention. The steps near their aisle and not a moment later Izzy appears, hand daintily placed in the crook of... Underhill's arm?! Alec feels his face scrunch in utter confusion.

“Izzy, what are you doing here?”

Izzy rolls her eyes. “Hello to you too, big brother. How are you doing? I'm fine, thanks for asking.”

“I didn't ask _how_ you were doing, I was asking _what_ you're doing,” Alec emphasizes.

Beside him Magnus facepalms for reasons unknown.

“It was actually my idea,” Underhill chimes in. “Since I took over as Head of Security I've been working on modernizing the Institute's defenses, and I thought, what if the fenceline was not only defensive but also offensive? So I've consulted with our Weapon's Master and we've decided to scour the market for innovative fencing options.”

“In a store for decorations,” Alec adds flatly.

“Style is half the battle,” Izzy replies with a sharp smile.

Alec blinks.

Magnus snorts. “We'll leave you to it then,” he waves them off, suppressing a laugh.

Izzy and Underhill pass by them, more interested in the fence segments than the candlestands, and once they're a good distance away Magnus finally lets out a chuckle. “You should see your face, Alexander,” he snickers.

Alec frowns. “I really don't know what's so funny to you.”

“Besides your outrage at an unexpected turn of events?”

Alec's frown deepens. “I don't know about you, but to me it's slightly disconcerting when my subordinates are suddenly involved in projects I know nothing about. Modernizing the Institute's defenses? What?”

Magnus pats his shoulder placatingly. “Man's just doing his job. You should be glad he shows initiative.”

Alec grumbles, but concedes the point. With a sigh he turns back to the display Magnus guided him to. “So, what's this?” he asks, taking one of the candle sticks from the shelf. It's simple and silvery, nice enough in Alec's book, but he's sure that choosing decoration is a long strenouous process that requires more thought than _This isn't too bad_.

The offended glare Magnus directs at the candle stick confirms his suspicion. “That one obviously doesn't match the curtains, Alec.”

“Yeah, obviously,” Alec mumbles.

Before he can put the stick back in its rightful place, there's again the sound of heels nearing them and Alec turns around, comment to Izzy already formed on his lips, but the words turn to ashes in his throat because the clicking heels, flowy ebony hair and crimson lipstick don't belong to Izzy – they belong to none other than Lilith.

The candle stick escapes his grip and clutters to the ground, but Alec doesn't even register it. On pure instinct he moves in front of Magnus and draws his bow, arrow nocked, poised to shoot, even though he knows it will be futile against the Queen of Hell.

“Stand down!” he calls.

Lilith doesn't slow down one bit, advancing on them with forceful steps.

Alec's heart rate kicks up, ascending even more when Magnus leaves cover and moves beside him, putting his hand on Alec's bow to push it down.

“What the hell, Alec, put the bow down,” he urges, scandalized.

Alec is so dumbfounded he forgets all his training and turns to Magnus instead of keeping eyes on Lilith. _“What?!”_

Magnus stares at him, equally perplexed. “This is an upscale establishment, Alec! There's no room for weapons here.”

“But.. _Lilith!_ ” Alec splutters.

The demon in question joins the conversation. “I merely wish to provide my disciples with a housing they'll feel comfortable at. That's no breach of the accords, is it, Shadowhunter?”

“I.. no, but--”

“Alec, please just put the bow away,” Magnus asks, pinching his brow with his fingers. “No one should have to deal with an assault while simply trying to buy some candles. That's not a world I want to live in.”

Lilith raises her eyebrows promptingly, having come to a stand right in front of Alec.

“You promise not to attack Magnus or me?” Alec demands.

“You have my word,” Lilith promises. “This store is neutral ground for all of us.”

Alec takes a deep breath, and after exchanging another look with Magnus, who nods encouragingly, lowers his bow.

Lilith smiles at him in thanks, and Alec is just thinking that maybe this could be the start of something, maybe they can settle their other issues in a peaceful way, too, when her smile morphs into a malicious sneer.

“You're even stupider than I thought,” she exclaims, raising her hands, red-hot magic dancing on her fingers.

Alec only barely manages to yank his arms up, hoping against hope that they'll shield him and Magnus from her demonic magic, when suddenly he's startling upright, tangled in golden sheets, back in bed again.

He's panting hard, blinking against the half-dark, trying to get his bearings. Magnus is by his side, awake now as well, caressing his arm soothingly. “Alexander, it was just a dream,” he whispers, and Alec calms down slowly.

“You okay?”

Alec nods. “Yeah, yeah. It was just....” He trails off.

“Want to talk about it?” Magnus offers gently.

“No, it was nothing bad, just.... _weird_.” So, so weird. What was his subconscious trying to tell him? He shakes it off, both figuratively and literally, and lets Magnus coax him into lying down again. Resting his head on Magnus's shoulder he sighs deeply, happy to enjoy Magnus's light touches along his back.

He's just settled back into comfortableness when Magnus breaks the quiet. “Still awake?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“It's not too early and I was wondering if instead of going back to sleep we should try and get a headstart on the day.”

Alec snorts. “Getting up instead of lazing around? Who are you and what have you done to Magnus Bane?”

Magnus chuckles and jostles Alec's head with a shoulder jerk. “You're lucky you're cute.”

“I'm indeed lucky,” Alec breathes, placing a kiss on Magnus's collar bone.

“You're indeed cute,” Magnus counters and Alec can hear the smile in his voice. “And trying to derail my plans, I see.”

“Hm?” Alec inquires innocently.

“My plan. I was thinking, if we're early, we could swing by that one store I know, they sell all kinds of decoration. When I was out on the balcony last night I thought some candles would--”

Alec recoils like a coil spring. _“No!!”_

 

**Author's Note:**

>  _while writing the ending_  
>  ralf: Wtf Alec this is a crack fic you're not supposed to get your sappiness all over it.  
> Alec: If Magnus is there I'll be as sappy as I damn well please, crack or not!  
> ralf: *retreating with placatingly raised hands* Okay dude just calm down.


End file.
